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In the U.S., we hear a lot about the problem of obesity. In ourselves, in our children. We all want to take good care of our bodies. It’s not always easy.
Can affirmations help?
Yes, they can. You can use affirmations in a couple of ways to get and stay fit.
You can use them to motivate you.
Examples:
- I love exercise.
- I enjoy feeling healthy.
- I am stronger each day.
- It’s a beautiful day for a jog.
Motivation is an important part of getting healthy, especially at the beginning, when it feels like a huge task to get out of bed and pull on the workout clothes. Use these affirmations or ones you create yourself to make it easier. To learn to look forward to this time you spend caring for yourself.
You can also use affirmations to focus on your goals.
Examples:
- I am running two miles today.
- I fit in that size 10 dress for the party.
- I qualify for the volunteer fire department.
- I am attractive to myself and others.
- I find great dates with ease.
Whatever your fitness goals, you can focus in on them using your affirmations. Some of us have set weights or clothing sizes we want to reach. Others have goals related to work or other activities they want to feel comfortable doing. It doesn’t matter which one is you, as long as you take care of you.
Affirm your fitness today!
Because affirmations are so versatile, you can apply them to any area of your life and see improvement. This includes relationships.
Let me tell you my story.
I got divorced at the end of 1997, beginning of 1998. It left my self-image battered and broken. I didn’t believe I would ever find someone who would take on a woman with two school-aged children. It seemed hopeless.A number of months later, I entered into a relationship with a man who was loving and wonderful. But he feared commitment. He wanted a perpetual girlfriend. He also had a knack for being around mostly when the children were not. Having children, I couldn’t settle for that. It didn’t feel right.
During this time, I began affirming the right person for my life. Simply repeating to myself that I have a strong marriage to the right man. When I began doing this, I was hoping it was the man I was dating. That didn’t work out. What we think we want is not always what is right for us.
Instead, I found someone completely new. Paul and I married in 2000. Our life together has gotten better each and every year.
So, how can this apply to you?
Do you have a relationship you would like to see deepen? Would you like to bring a new relationship into your life?
Remember, it doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship. This can apply to friendships, relations with your parents, children or siblings, or even with yourself. I am using my own situation as an example.
Determine what you would like to change. Keep in mind that you cannot change another person with affirmations, only yourself or your view of that person.
Once you’ve determined what you want to change, create an affirmation that addresses this.
When you have the affirmation the way you want it, begin putting it to use.
Some of you will see more immediate results than others. Whatever you do, don’t give up.
Affirm your relationships today.
I’ve posted a lot on here about specific ways to use affirmations. But what about the person just getting started? Someone who has never used affirmations before, at least consciously? That’s what this post is all about.
What is an affirmation?
An affirmation is simply a positive statement that something is true. “I am awake,” is an affirmation.
Why use affirmations?
Affirmations help us change how we talk to ourselves. What negative voices are chattering in your head? Don’t you think it’s time to give them the boot and hang out mentally with voices that want you to succeed, be healthy and enjoy life? Affirmations do just that. They replace the negative with positive.
You see, you can’t just get rid of the negative. Then you leave a void. Nature will seek to fill it. If you don’t take control of that re-filling process, you will end up with more of the same. Or those old voices will simply move back home.
Many of us don’t realize the horrible things we say to ourselves all day long. Each repetition reinforces the idea that those words are true.
“I’m so clumsy.” That is one I still struggle with every time I drop something. Fact is, I am not that clumsy. But if I keep telling myself that I am, I will gradually become what I believe myself to be.
So, spend some time today paying attention to your internal dialogue. Write down these statements. After doing so, write an affirmation to replace each one.
For example:
Negative statement – I am clumsy.
Replacement affirmations – I am graceful. I am surefooted.
Then, each time you hear that negative voice, mentally yell “STOP!” and say the positive replacement statement instead. Over time, those negative voices will become quiet and your view of the world will become a happier, healthier one.
I had an interesting conversation with someone yesterday about this blog. This woman is someone I consider a friend, albeit not a close one. She is a devout Christian, though I will not disclose her church affiliation because this is not the point.
She told me that in her opinion, affirmations were against her religion. She seems to think they are a new age concept, therefore, dangerous to her salvation.
Regardless of my belief system or hers, I decided to do a little investigating. Doing so was easy because I had recently been listening to The Power of Positive Thinking audio book. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale advocates the use of affirmations – from the Christian Bible!
For example:
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
“This is the day the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Of course, I don’t want to debate theology. Again, not the point of this post. I just want to encourage everyone who fears affirmations are against their faith to turn to their holy books and find the positive statements there that can edify them.
In the Christian faith, scripture memorization is considered a great thing. How do we commit something to memory? We repeat it. Over and over. Sounds like affirming to me. What do you think?
Affirming something is simply stating it as if it were already true. If you believe the Bible is true, affirm this. If you believe something else, affirm it.
Am I completely off track here? Please do not turn this into a theology debate. Flamers and trolls will have their posts deleted. As will anyone who launches a personal attack on another commenter. So please offer considered, thoughtful answers to my question. I’m interested to see where this goes.
Here in the U.S., school is back in full swing. From elementary through university, students are feeling the pressure to do well and advance.
How can affirmations help?
You can use them to deal with test anxiety. Try this:
- I am a confident test taker.
- I remain calm during tests.
If you couple these affirmations with visualizations of you calmly sitting for the test and receiving a good score, you can improve your state of mind at test time.
Another place you can use affirmations to help with school is by applying them to your time management. Here are a couple of examples:
- I complete my assignments in a timely fashion.
- I schedule my work to meet the deadlines my teachers give.
Again, you can add visualization to boost your results.
Finally, affirmations can be used to help you in more general ways at school, such as paying attention in class, waking up on time, and getting along with others. Consider the following:
- I am a likable classmate.
- I pay attention in class and learn well.
- I wake up with my alarm each morning.
- I am an excellent student.
While these are good examples, you might check out the previous post and write a few affirmations of your own. This way, they are custom made for your needs.
Of course, I can’t promise you’ll make straight A’s or be elected prom queen/king. But I can promise, that if you use your affirmations diligently, you will have less struggle with all aspects of school.
Affirm yourself today!
Though this blog updates six days a week, it is inevitable that readers will need affirmations for a circumstance I haven’t covered. That being the case, I would like to offer you some tips on creating your own strong affirmations.
1. Use positive words
Stay away from “don’t,” “never,” “won’t,” “not,” and “no” in any form. Rather, focus on what you can, will and want to do or feel.
2. Stay present
Your affirmation should be stated as though it is already happening. If you project it into the future, it will remain there. For instance, “I will lose 10 pounds,” is not as effective as, “I am 10 pounds lighter.”
3. Keep it short
One fundamental aspect of affirmations is repetition. In order to be able to repeat an affirmation to yourself, you must be able to commit it to memory. This is much easier if the affirmation is a dozen words or so. Feel free to write down and read longer ones, but memorize the short ones to repeat when you are going about your day.
4. Be specific
Finally, make sure you are as detailed as possible. Instead of, “I am losing weight,” try “I am losing a pound each week.” Not only does this give your subconscious more specific concepts to work with, but it also gives you a way to measure whether your affirmation is working.
Keep in mind, as you write and say your affirmations, that they do not work in a vacuum. You must keep moving forward. Do what you can to actively bring about your affirmed statement. When you back these statements up with action, however small, forces come to your aid that will blow your mind.
Affirm yourself today!
Just like us, our children have self-talk going on inside their heads. Most of this talk began with us as parents, then moved on to teachers and peers. Have you thought about the messages you send your children when you speak to them?
Have you ever said something like, “You’re getting on my nerves,” “It’s not that hard, you should try harder,” or “Why can’t you be more like ____?” These messages tell our child what we think of him or her. For us, it’s just in that moment of frustration or exhaustion. For the child, those comments can last a lifetime.
Do you want to help your child change the negative messages?
If you have an infant or toddler, you can print this post and read the affirmations to them each day. Commit a few to memory and say them to your child often.
If your child is older, make sure you spend time telling him or her how much you love them. Use these affirmations to reinforce positive messages. Even teenagers will respond, if you are consistent and sincere.
Of course, you still must discipline (it’s not a bad word) bad behavior. Let your child understand right and wrong. But, even when they misbehave, tell your child that you love them, just not the way they are conducting themselves.
Here is a list of affirmations for you to share with your child:
- I love you.
- I am glad I had you.
- I am glad you are part of this family.
- You are very important to me.
- You are a good person.
- You have a great smile.
- You are a lot of fun to be with.
- I enjoy being around you.
- I am glad you help me (task).
- I like it when you laugh.
- You are so smart.
- You are a great learner.
- I’m proud of you for (specific action).
- I am excited to see you grow up.
- You are such a talented (name of talent).
- I am proud to be your mother/father.
- You are a hard worker.
- Thank you for (specific action).
There are millions of potential affirmations we can say to our children. Any time you say something positive to your child, you are affirming that behavior or self-image. With this in mind, make sure you tell your children that they are intelligent, capable, worthy of love and perfect just as they are.
If you want to come up with your own affirmations for your children, it’s not hard. Just think about what you would have liked your parents to say to you. Say these things to your child.
Did your parents share a special affirmation with you growing up? Or do you have something special you say to your child? Share it here. Help another parent raise a confident child.
First, let me apologize for posting this so late. It has been a tough day.
Now, on to the main post.
This summer was one of loss for my children. On their father’s side, they first lost a favorite uncle to cancer.
Less than a month later, they lost their paternal grandfather (their dad’s stepfather). He was special to them both. Such a double whammy is tough, especially on kids, teenagers to boot.
All I could do was allow them to deal with their grief. Luckily, they are resilient, as children are, and have handled it well. Not everyone is so lucky.
Grief has five distinct stages. These stages vary in length and intensity from person to person. Sometimes, they even overlap. But each one is part of coming to a place of acceptance.
Denial
When a loved one dies, the first stage is denial. On some level, you cannot yet accept that this person (or pet) is no longer alive. Denial doesn’t last that long for most people. Excessive denial usually requires counseling.
Anger
This is a difficult stage for many people to experience. You feel angry at the person who died. You feel angry at yourself. You feel angry at God or the universe. It’s completely natural. Death seems so unfair.
Bargaining
At this stage, you are asking for the impossible. Anything to put things back as they were. You might tell God, “please bring my friend back. I’ll do anything.” Unfortunately, while I’m sure God is pained by these prayers, He will not undo what has happened. However, this need to try to renegotiate events is normal.
Depression
The most dangerous stage of grief is this one. A feeling of numbness may descend on your emotions. You feel like all of the light has left the world. That there’s no point in bothering anymore. This is the stage where affirmations can help most.
Acceptance
Finally, after all of that, you will come to accept what has happened. You won’t stop hurting, you won’t stop missing your loved one. You’ll just come to a place in your heart where you can begin moving forward again. Here, too, affirmations can help.
Affirmations for Grief
Denial
- I accept reality, even when it is difficult do to so.
- I can face what has happened and move forward.
- I am normal, going through a normal process.
- I am giving myself time to grieve properly.
Anger
- It is okay to be angry, as long as I do no harm to myself or others.
- I understand that anger is a part of the grieving process.
- I am normal, going through a natural process.
- I am giving myself time to grieve properly.
Bargaining
- I can move forward.
- I can find a place of acceptance.
- I am normal, going through a normal process.
- I am giving myself time to grieve properly.
Depression
- I can be happy again.
- I deserve to be happy again.
- My loved one wants me to be happy.
- It is okay to cry when I miss my loved one.
- It is natural to miss my loved one.
- I can talk about my loved one with a smile.
- I am normal, going through a normal process.
- I am giving myself time to grieve properly.
Acceptance
- I am moving forward.
- I always hold a part of my loved one in my heart.
- I have many happy memories to cherish of my loved one.
- My loved one would be pleased to see me happy.
- I deserve to be happy.
Of course, use the affirmations that resonate with you, if you are going through the grieving process. And if you feel stuck, talk to a professional. Life is for living. Live it for you. Live it for your lost loved one.
Do you have a special affirmation that helped you cope with loss? Share it here. It may help someone who really needs it right now.
This is the last post that expands on the concepts introduced in Using Affirmations Effectively. It is a simple concept, but one that is probably the most difficult to put into practice.
What is it? It is looking yourself in the eye in a mirror while you say your affirmations.
It is the most awkward feeling when you first do it. You may feel silly. This is normal. Do it anyway.
- Stand in front of a mirror.
- Look yourself in the eye.
- Smile.
- Say your affirmations at least three, but up to ten times.
What was your instinctive reaction to this set of instructions? Mine used to be a tendency to blush. Yes. Blush. Bright red splotches on my cheeks, a fluttering in my stomach.
Part of this reaction is because we are not encouraged to tell ourselves what we want. We are not encouraged to put ourselves first at all. Yet, when you stand there looking at yourself and saying these things, you are doing just that.
And really, if you don’t put yourself first, no one else will. We forget that we have to take care of ourselves in order to be able to care for others. Instead, we are fed the message that we should be our last priority. Or not a priority. This is a lie.
If I am sick and I don’t take care of my health, what good will I be to my spouse? My employer? My children? My friends? This applies to your mental and emotional health, too.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean being utterly selfish. It means that you take care of yourself so you are in top shape to take care of the frazillion other responsibilities you have. How in the world is that being selfish?
Now, go stand in front of that mirror and remind yourself that you have value. The benefit of looking yourself in the eye is that you reinforce your message. You remind yourself that you are important. That you do matter.
So, the next time you find yourself in front of a reflective surface say, even in a whisper, your affirmations while you give yourself the respect of making eye contact.
Affirm yourself today!
_________
Have questions? Want to share your ideas about affirmations? Comment! I read them and answer them.
The fourth tool for using affirmations effectively that was mentioned was saying your affirmations out loud.
Similar to writing them down, speaking them out loud is a powerful reinforcing tool.
Why is this?
When you speak your affirmations out loud, you literally proclaim them to the world. Regardless of your belief system, doing so is a sign of commitment that often triggers events to start moving in the right direction.
In other words, you speak and the world answers. The answer is not instantly obvious, but if you continue to believe in what you say, it will come.
Another reason speaking your affirmations is so powerful is because you are not only thinking and saying them, you are hearing yourself say them. It’s a triple whammy. You are approaching your subconscious mind from three directions! One of them is bound to get through.
So, each day, as you shower or while driving, repeat your affirmations out loud. Say them with feeling and excitement. In fact, spend a little time before speaking getting enthusiastic about your goal. This, too, will add power to your words.
Sure, you might feel silly at first. That’s not unusual. But, isn’t it worth feeling silly to reach your goals?
Affirm today!
